Night of the Dark Kat
Cast * Razor - Barry Gordon * T-Bone - Charles Adler * Callie Briggs – Tress MacNeille * Commander Feral – Gary Owens * Lieutenant Toby Furlong - Kevin Conroy * Mayor Manx – Jim Cummings Guest Cast (in order of appearance): * Enforcer Sergeant – Tony Pope * Enforcer Commando – Rob Paulsen * Hard Drive - Rob Paulsen * Dyno-Mite – Corey Burton * Dark Kat – Brock Peters * Little Boy’s Father – Corey Burton * Al – Corey Burton Supporting Cast (in order of appearance): * Little Old Lady – Tress MacNeille * Little Boy – Candi Milo Transcript Enforcer Sergeant> What’s the matter, rookie? Enforcer Commando> I thought I saw something out there. Enforcer Sergeant> Relax, son. Only a fool would try to get into this research center. If surveillance cameras and electrified fences don’t stop ‘em, the Enforcers will. chuckles Hard Drive> Operational code warning, you idiots! Nothing can stop us, Hard Drive and Dyno-Mite when he’s holding their surge coat and an explosive belt! [both laughs] Hard Drive> I can’t wait to wrap my circuits around Megakat City’s newest defense secrets. Time to boot up these computers. And we can take on a few tasy megabytes! Enforcer Sergeant> What the?! We’ve got an intruder in the computer control room! Hard Drive> So, they know we're here, eh? Too late! I’ve deleted their files! Now all the defense secrets are right in here, and whoever wants them will have to pay me big time! cackles Razor> Any ideas how can you get enough this thrusty thing to keep us an airborne, T-Bone? T-Bone> Yep. That new engine’s got enough. Razor> Wow! It’s amazing what you can find in a salvage yard, huh, T-Bone? T-Bone> Yeah. You're gonna pick up an emergency Enforcer broadcast? Enforcer Sergeant> I repeat, Commander, someone’s broken into the Megakat City Defense Center and wiped out all our top secret computer files! Feral> But how could anyone get past all the security? Enforcer Sergeant> Uh, I don’t know, sir. But there was a mysterious ultimately nitro before the alarms went off. Feral> Power surge? TNT belt? Computer theft? Looks like Dyno-Mite’s back in town! Razor> Looks like who's afraid of the dark, T-Bone, It sounds like this thing is getting enough mega-thrust to keep an airborne all by its viciously vain. T-Bone> Hard Drive?! and his dopey one, Dyno-Mite?! Are those crooks who kept tapping into automated teller machines? By the stealing defense that techno? Razor> Yeah, guess now he’s moved up to stealing defense secrets. Hey, maybe our surge detector can give us a lead on this techno-weasel. Bingo. Mega anti-explosive registering in Sector 5. T-Bone> Registering in Sector 5, coming up! We’re there! Razor> Uh, T-Bone, we’ll get there faster with all our engines. T-Bone> Roger that. This is Sector 5, and that is an ultimate nitro! Razor> Careful we don’t lose it. T-Bone> No blip gives me the slip. Razor> Turboblade, deployed! Twin Turboblades, deployed! Gotcha! T-Bone> Aw, crud! How are we gonna catch those stunts? Razor> Lightening? Ha! Maybe these Wire-Clipper Missiles will do the trick. Bingo! Let’s see what we’ve got! T-Bone> Careful, that wire could still be live. Razor> Don’t worry, my glovatrix is specially-insulated, and so is this missile. T-Bone> That oughta insulated their missiles if they don't arc out! Good saying! Dyno-Mite> Let me out of here! Razor> Hmm.. Well, well. Looks like we’ve trapped Hard Drive and Dyno-Mite. Here comes the cavalry, late as usual. Feral> Do you know how much havoc you two have caused tonight? You’ve cut the power to half of Megakat City! Razor> What’s the matter, Commander? Afraid of the dark? Feral> Well, I won’t press charges this time, since you helped capture that Hard Drive, and his stupid sidekick, Dyno-Mite. T-Bone> Hey, pardon! “Helped?” Did the big guy say “helped?” Feral> Take him to a holding cell. We have to recover the defense secrets he stole. Dyno-Mite> Oh you just try to get ‘em, boys. chuckles T-Bone> Keep him in that insulated thruster, Commander. Razor> Mind if we are gonna get zippin' the wires for a bit? T-Bone> Yeah, this guy gets a real charge outta zippin’ through wires. Feral> What do you think I am? Stupid? Razor and T-Bone> Bingo! Feral> I want those secrets now! Hard Drive> Buzz off! Dyno-Mite> Yeah! Buzz off! Feral> Fine. This digital deadbeat can just stay here ’till his battery wears down. Hard Drive> Ah, freedom. Ooh! Dyno-Mite> Blast those SWAT Kats and their insulated thruster! Jake> I guess me and my Chancey-Boy did an awesome work as volunteers, plus we will hit the sack. Chance> After handlin’ the Turbokat, drivin’ this tow truck is one big snooze. Jake> Hey it may not be glamorous, Chance. Chance> Look! There’s an old lady stuck in a ditch out here who’s depending on us. Jake> Ooh, How about if we can go for a shortcut? Shall we? Chance> Ugh, Jake. Will you watch the bumps? Boy, I see the bumps come and depending on us. Hard Drive> You little creeps! When I get out of here I’m gonna light you up like a Christmas tree! gasps Dark Kat! Dark Kat> Do I make you nervous, Hard Drive and uh, Dyno-Mite? Hard Drive> Uh, you want the defense secrets? They’re in the surge suit, all yours! N-no charge! Dark Kat> Silence! I don’t need defense secrets! I want the SWAT Kats destroyed! And you’re going to help me! Hard Drive> Y-Y-Yes, of course, were fine, but nobody can stand up to that jet of theirs. Dark Kat> Yes, their precious jet. Without it, the SWAT Kats are just two jerks in flight suits. That’s why you’re going to help me steal the Turbokat! And then I will hold Megakat City in the palm of my hand! laughs Little Old Lady> I called Megakat Auto Club thirty minutes ago! I should get this tow for free! Jake> Hold on, lady! Hey, wait a minute! Chance> This ain’t a pizza delivery service, lady. Jake> We got here as fast as we could. Chance> And we don't bring meatball pizzas. Callie> SWAT Kats! Hard Drive and his assistant, Dyno-Mite has escaped! He's holding a TNT timer bomb to explode all the Megakat City! And he’s overloaded Megakat City Light and Power! Jake> Looks like it's Callie! She's in trouble! Code Red! We’re on our way, Miss Briggs! You know what to do. SWAT Kats! To the jet! Chance> Hasta luego! Little Old Lady> Hey, come back! I’m reporting you to my auto club! Ann> This is Ann Gora, Kat’s Eye News. Someone or something is causing mass destruction. Dyno-Mite> That someone is me, Dyno-Mite! And I’ve got a personal message for the SWAT Kats. chuckles That timer is mine! Razor> Looks like Hard Drive is back again! T-Bone> And his fatso, Dyno-Mite! Let’s unplug this guy! He’s goin’ into underground powerlines. Razor> You think it'll work? T-Bone> No biggie, Razor, You're gonna pick up his TNT loud and clear. Razor> It’s stopped. I’ve got the coordinates locked in. settin’ her down and he’s hiding in there. T-Bone! Quick! Grab the nitro! T-Bone> Oh, Boy! I can’t wait to grab that nitro lowlife. Gotcha! Dark Kat> And I’ve got you! Razor and T-Bone> Dark Kat?! Dark Kat> Seize them! What did I tell you? Without the Turbokat, they’re nothing! Hard Drive> Dyno-Mite> So, care for a little more crispy fried, or broiled? Dark Kat> Wait, I don’t want them destroyed so quickly. I want them to have time to think about it, first. This machine will mash the SWAT Kats into litter bits! Razor> What’s the matter, Dark Kat? Couldn’t handle us without help? Dark Kat> Cocky ’till the end, I like that. But make no mistake. This is the end. Razor> Looks like I missed all the excitement, T-Bone! T-Bone> Yeah. In t-minus ten minutes, the point reason is that we should speak... (whines) But Mommy! I don't wanna go to school today! I wanna stay home and bake cookies with you! Dyno-Mite> Oh, and don’t worry about your jet. I’m going to take real good care of it for you! laughs Dark Kat> You know what to do, Dyno-Mite. Don’t fail me! Hard Drive> I still say you should’ve let me blow up those two! Dark Kat> No need to worry. Even if the SWAT Kats manage to shut the conveyor belt off, it’s wired to blow the warehouse sky high! Razor> Worried? What do you mean worried? Looks like Dark Kat who's totally outta control right into his vicious minds. T-Bone> Yeah. If we don’t get outta this, who’s gonna tow that little old lady? (whine) Otherwise, I'm a crispy fried T-Bone! Razor> Relax, T-Bone, There's nothing to be afraid of, You're my assistant! T-Bone> You're right, Razor! We got an extremely plan to make. El Hardcore! Little Boy> Look! It’s the SWAT Kats! Hard Drive> chuckles Time to change the SWAT Kats’ image, Dyno-Mite. Dyno-Mite: D'uh..Right, sir! Little Boy> What are the SWAT Kats doing, daddy? Father> I don’t know, son. I don’t know. Dark Kat> Dyno-Mite, destroy another building! Hard Drive> Right, Boss! Two missiles, electronically locked and loaded! Dyno-Mite> Hold on tight! I'm gonna burst that baby out! Hard Drive> Not now, you idiot! Ann> Attention! This is Ann Gora with a Kat’s Eye News flash! The SWAT Kats are trashing Megakat City! Dark Kat> No, I am! Ann> Amazing as it may seem, our beloved SWAT Kats have destroyed two skyscrapers- Make that four skyscrapers! Mayor Manx, Commander Feral, Lieutenant Tobias, do you have any explanation for the SWAT Kats’ unprovoked attack? Feral> I’ve always said the SWAT Kats are nothing but lawless vigilantes! Toby> Especially my brother who wears an explosive belt. Callie> But we don’t know for sure if- Manx> I want to assure the public we have the situation well in hand. Assure them, Feral. Feral> Even as we speak, an Enforcer squadron is in the air to take out the Turbokat! Toby> As soon as the Megakat City's already half exploded. (angry) And where do I get my hands off to my brother?! Callie> You can’t just shoot them down! We have no proof it really is the SWAT Kats! Feral> That’s proof enough for me! Ann> Do you have a statement about the SWAT Kats, Deputy Mayor Briggs? Callie> Not until I confirm it’s really them in that jet. Let’s go take a look! Dark Kat> Not only have I destroyed the SWAT Kats, but I’ve destroyed their reputations as well. Dyno-Mite> Yeah! Rock and roll, baby! Not hard as I will. Uh oh. Guess I’ve got company. Dark Kat> You know what to do! Feral> SWAT Kats, you’re under arrest! Fire at will! Blast them out of the sky! Dark Kat> You heard him, Hard Drive. Blast them out of the sky! Callie> I can’t see this high-tech edge pilot! Can you get us closer? Al> After what those SWAT Kats did to the Enforcers? No way! Callie> I can’t believe the SWAT Kats could do this. And also known as Razor and T-Bone. Hard Drive> voice-simulator Now listen up, Megakat City! Callie> That's Razor! Dyno-Mite> And who's that Razor's dopey sidekick anyway? Callie> That’s T-Bone! Hey, you're not Razor's assistant! Dyno-Mite> voice-simulator Nope. Dyno.Mite's the name, explode the city's my game! Now you have fifteen minutes to empty the Megakat City Treasury, or we’ll level this town! Feral> Now you listen to me- Hard Drive> voice-simulator No, you listen, Feral! Have that money on the steps of City Hall by noon, or the SWAT Kats destroy Megakat City! voice Your nitro voice-simulator worked like a groovy, Dark Kat. Dark Kat> Yes, those stolen defense secrets came in handy. Now go get the money! Ann> Well, Deputy Mayor, what does the city intend to do? Callie> What can we do? Pay up. Razor> Those little creeps tie a pretty mean knot. T-Bone> It’s no use. We need teeth like theirs to cut through these ropes. Razor> Teeth? Cutting ropes? (gasps) Hey, that’s it! You and I will get a plan together that’s just crazy enough to work. T-Bone> Speak for yourself. Manx> Every penny in the treasury is yours, SWAT Kats. It’s all there. Hard Drive> voice-simulator If it isn’t, we’ll be back! laughs Callie> I still can’t believe the SWAT Kats are robbing the city. Feral> They won’t get away with it. I’ve put a homing device in one of the money bags. Hard Drive> voice-simulator Nice try, Commander! laughs Razor> Another second and I’ll be out of these ropes! Creeplings> Huh? T-Bone> I'm losing my patience! Razor> Me, too! Come on! Dark Kat booby-trapped the place! T-Bone> Booby-trapped? We’re outta here! Razor> “Cutting it a little close, aren’t we?” T-Bone> Yep, We don't get pointless! Feral> Hands up, SWAT Kats! Razor> Hey, we’re the good guys, remember? We SWAT Kats, Razor and T-Bone! So give us a break, Feral. We’ve had a rough day. Feral> Quiet! Now where’s the money? Razor> Money? Did you say- Razor and T-Bone> Money? Toby> (to T-Bone) And that means you, squirt! Callie> SWAT Kats, how could you? Toby> You’re just in time, Miss Briggs. Feral> You're right, Lieutenant Tobias. I’m arresting your friends. But first, I’m going to find out who they really are. It’s only fitting you spend your life in prison under your real names. The two of them must be Razor and T-Bone. I guess you three are always innocent, but now that you three don't care about this. Razor, T-Bone and Callie> (gasps) Innocent? Feral> Well, all of you are wrong! And the answer is guilty. Callie> Quick, take me hostage! Razor> Back off, or the Deputy Mayor is history! T-Bone> You're right, Razor! But the truth is Right, history! Feral> Stop firing, you fools! You might hit the Deputy Mayor! Now, get after them! Toby> Right! Razor> Well I’m glad someone still thinks we’re the good guys. We're Razor and T-Bone now. Callie> Let’s just say I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. Now why’d you destroy half the city? Razor> It was Dark Kat! He and their henchmen stole the Turbokat! Callie> And the entire city treasury! I knew it wasn’t you! But now, how will we get the money back? Razor> By getting the Turbokat back! And this mega-sensor will lead us right ot it! Any bright ideas how could handle it? T-Bone> But first we gotta lose Feral. This baby’s too darn fast for a street machine. What a sensor! Callie> Yeah, I have a couple of great mechanics who tune her up for me. Razor> You can say that again, Miss Callie Briggs. T-Bone> The point is that after the sensor explosions, What about we should go get some hot dogs, then pizza, and then bring it to the fiesta. That oughta take another slip if we buy some - Razor and Callie> (annoyed) T-Bone! T-Bone> (sighs) Okay, fine! Callie> Maybe we can get through that Dark Kat, and the Dyno-Mite. You two think that'll work. Razor> Looks like who's keeping this Turbokat running this smooth anyway? T-Bone> Too bad you can’t still the Turbokat pretends to be crinkle cut, Razor. Stay in the car, Miss Briggs. Dark Kat> I would say that Megakat City is in a bit of a financial crisis. Hard Drive> Yes. Manx will probably have to raise taxes. Dark Kat> Then I’ll just send you off in the Turbokat for another collection. Razor> Sorry, the Turbokat has been repossesed! T-Bone> Repossesed? Dark Kat> Get them! Hard Drive> Dyno-Mite> Ooh, I knew I should give myself a headache! T-Bone> I have a headache too! Razor> Take your best shot! Dyno-Mite> I’m out of here! T-Bone> You said it! But we're had it for a year. Razor> Yeah. Looks like it’s time for a new suit and a new belt, Dyno-Mite. You two love your prison pinstripes? Dark Kat> You won’t be needing this! Razor> Glovatrixes jammed! Dark Kat> End of the line, SWAT Kats! Callie> No! Razor> It's Callie! Ah, thanks for puttin’ the city’s money to such good use. Callie> My pleasure, Razor. Now let’s get the rest of it back to the city treasury or I don’t get paid this week. Manx> Looks like we’re getting back, Feral. With interest. Callie> Dark Kat and his henchmen stole the SWAT Kats’ jet. I’m afraid you misjudged them, Commander. Feral> Perhaps, Miss Briggs. Toby> But we’d still like to see you two without your masks. Razor> I guess you can never predict this uppity. How curiosity could you get? T-Bone> Bam! Whammo! Toby> Gee, haven’t you heard, sir? Curiousity killed the kat. Little Old Lady> Well, where have you two been? Oh, no, no, no, don’t tell me. You were off saving the world. Jake> Saving the world? Nah, just the city. Chance> But we brought you back a pizza. Hey, hope you like tuna topping. Little Old Lady> What? No anchovies? Well, hey, this isn’t too bad. Jake> We did an awesome job for stopping the Dark Kat and a Dyno-Mite, 'Cause we were so late for these three free tuneups. Chance> I like the pizza. Little Old Lady> You’re so thoughtful. Jake> It looks like we're better get going. Come back and see us anytime you like. Chance> And we’ll have you back to the garage in no time flat. Jake> Let's see if we have to go this way. Or that way? Chance> No, Jake! Don't go that way! Jake> Relax, Chancey. Look like who's got a make a shortcut for me anyway. Chance> That's all too weird, Mr. Jake. I'm the only one who get the point of a view. Category:SWAT Kats episode transcripts Category:Season 1 Category:1993